Words that have become as common as bread and butter in these modern times are depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anger, rage etc. Minister Joe Phaahla (SA Minister of Health) said in parliament in April 2023 that about 6.5 million people in South Africa need care for common mental disorders. These “mental disorders” include depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anger, rage, etc.
If you try to find a common denominator in all these conditions, the word, overthinking, pops up repeatedly. The Afrikaans word for overthinking is, oordink. In Afrikaans, it is often used as a positive word that says you should think carefully about a decision or choice before you make it.
On the contrary, the English word, overthink/overthinking does not indicate something you do to make the best decision. Nine out of ten times, it has a negative connotation and points to things that run through your head over and over and over again – something that might happen or can happen.
Overthinking begins with the question, what if? Unfortunately, it never ends there. Usually, one what-if – is followed by another and another, for example, what if I lose my job in six months, a year, or two years? What if I don’t get a job soon after that? What if my husband/wife leaves me then? What if we lose our house, etc., etc., etc? It won’t take long before your head is spinning.
The what-if questions that follow each other repetitively lead to mega-negativity, where you see no light at the end of the tunnel. This kind of overthinking is enough to keep you awake night after night and place you in a downward spiral where you slowly but surely descend into a deep dark hole.
Unfortunately, in most cases, overthinking does not function alone. His little brother, or if you like, her little sister, is procrastination. When you start putting off or postponing decisions and things you must do, it leads to guilt and blame. These feelings of guilt and blame will lead you back to overthinking – a vicious cycle.
Overthinking and procrastination form a formidable team that is not only responsible for a considerable percentage of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anger, and rage but, when operating together, are also the biggest thieves of inner peace and happiness.
GAME PLAN
If you are one of those who overthink and procrastinate, I want to introduce you to a simple game plan that can make your life much easier. It may not altogether remove your depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anger, and rage, but will calm you down and approach things differently. Many of my clients can testify to how it has helped them. One of them, a 50+ man who had more than ten panic attacks a day and couldn’t turn off his brain at all, said after using this game plan for a few weeks, he couldn’t remember the last time he had a panic attack.
One of the reasons why many game plans fail is because it needs to be simplified. This is a simple game plan with only three steps. It’s meant to ease people’s burdens. Feel free to add more steps that work for you.
Step 1 – Live 24 hours at a time
Learn the rhythm of 24 hours at a time. I’m not sure if other religions have such a thing as 24-hour time rhythms. Perhaps for Muslim and Jewish people because it dates back to Moses and the Israelites in the desert when they were allowed only to gather enough food for one day. If they picked up more, it perished anyway.
For Christians, this should be a given. The New Testament is full of examples, such as, Do not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow brings enough worries of its own. But the best example of this kind of life rhythm we find in the Lord’s Prayer, where Jesus taught His followers to pray for daily bread, for today’s bread, not for tomorrow’s, next week’s, next month, or next year’s bread.
It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, Muslim, Jew, or other religion. I dare you to try it. Make it the rhythm of your life. Put a reminder on your phone that reminds you every morning when you wake up to pray for faith for today, for strength for today, for courage for today – for the bridge you need to cross today – your daily bread. Tomorrow you can ask for things you will need for that day. If you are not religious, wake up and decide what you want to accomplish during the next 24 hours and what you need to do to achieve that. Then focus only on the next 24 hours.
If you begin to overthink somewhere during these 24 hours, stop yourself immediately and tell yourself – you asked/prayed for today. Focus only on 24 hours at a time. When you get to tomorrow, you will focus on everything you need to get through those 24 hours.
Step 2 – Be positively selfish
By this, I mean be good to yourself. You cannot be good to others if you are not good to yourself. Jesus said you must love your neighbour as yourself, which means you can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself.
I often deal with people – especially women who sacrifice themselves for others, not making time for themselves. It surprises me when I listen to everything they feel guilty about.
The so-called golden rule is part and parcel of many different religions. The principle of this rule is treating others as you want to be treated. There is not a person in the world who loves to be treated badly. Why not begin with yourself? Treat yourself as you would like to be treated – and then do the same to others.
Make time for yourself. It’s not wrong to be positively selfish. But, if you take it too far, it becomes selfishness, which is not the same as positively selfish. The three most important people in the life of a selfish person will always be me, myself, and I – an unholy trinity.
It’s remarkable how people’s heads turn when they realize I must be good to myself before I can be good to others.
Step 3 – Exercise
What is a game plan without exercise? A few years ago, research conducted at the University of North-West found that exercise has tremendous physical and mental health benefits. The study was done with samples from three groups of people: (i) people who do not exercise at all, (ii) people who exercise moderately and (iii) people who exercise fanatically. One of the interesting outcomes of this study was the difference between people who do not exercise at all and people who exercise moderately. It was astronomical in terms of physical and mental health benefits.
In contrast, the differences between people who exercise moderately and fanatically were almost unnoticeable in many cases. This means you don’t need to exercise as if you are going to participate in the Ironman/Ironwomen contest. You only need to exercise moderately to reap the benefits of exercise in terms of your physical and mental health.
Make time to walk, for example, 3-5 times a week for 30-45 minutes at a reasonable speed. Make it part of your life rhythm. If you are very busy, that should include 30-45 minutes of exercise that day.
Concluding thoughts
If you struggle with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anger, rage and other mental health problems – get help. This game plan can and will make your life easier but won’t solve all your mental issues. There can be a lot of underlying reasons for your mental condition, such as trauma that happened many years ago, which needs to be addressed. All these issues are like a bag of stones you carry with you 24/7, 365 days a year. It’s going to crush you. It will “press you down” and make you “depressed”, anxious, angry, etc. Get help. Get someone to help you to get rid of the stones in your backpack, one by one.
(Dr. Piet van Zyl from Heart to Heart Online Counselling wrote this article)
