Faceless and voiceless communication through the internet is an integral part of the world we live in, whether we like it or not. Every second, millions of WhatsApp messages, Telegram texts, emails, and other internet-supported messages fill cyberspace without revealing the sender’s tone of voice, facial expressions, or body language.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, communication is “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behaviour” (https://www.merriam-webster.com). While accurate, this is a rather narrow definition. By this definition, someone who is extremely angry or deeply in love can, theoretically, send a faceless and voiceless message without revealing any of their emotions.
The website study.com offers a broader definition: communication is “the actionable transfer of information from one person, group, or place to another by writing, speaking, or using a medium that provides a means of understanding (https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-communication). The phrase, using a medium that provides a means of understanding, allows for the transmission of emotions through words, signs, and symbols such as emojis to confirm or emphasize the meaning of the message.
One of the greatest dangers of faceless and voiceless communication in interpersonal relationships is the high potential for misinterpretation. Without vocal intonation, facial expressions, and other nonverbal cues, messages can be easily misunderstood. According to Derks, Fischer, and Bos (2008), this can result in confusion, false expectations, or unintended offense.
Opponents of online counselling often argue that it is inferior because of the absence of nonverbal communication. However, this argument rests on two misunderstandings. First, many assume that online counselling only involves telephone conversations (faceless) or email and WhatsApp messages (faceless and voiceless). In reality, this type of counselling is rare, typically limited to emergency or support organisations such as the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG).
Faceless and voiceless communication is essential in the preliminary stages of online counselling. Emails and WhatsApp messages allow counsellors to manage appointments, send the necessary forms and banking details, and distribute questionnaires – especially when clients are located hundreds or thousands of kilometres away.
A second argument against online counselling – one that also applies to interpersonal relationships – relates to the so-called 55/38/7 formula, which states that 55% of communication is nonverbal, 38% is tone of voice and intonation, and 7% is words (online.utpb.edu/about-us/articles/communication/). Critics argue that a great deal is lost in an online face-to-face conversation because one can only see the other person’s face.
These critics are partly right and partly wrong. They are correct that nonverbal communication, including facial expressions, gestures, posture, and body movements, plays a significant role in interaction. RL Birdwhistell’s study of kinesics concluded that communication engages the entire person (www.researchgate.net/). Birdwhistell died in 1994 at the age of 76, leaving one to wonder what he might have said about internet-based communication.
On the other hand, some academics argue that too much emphasis is placed on nonverbal communication. Carol Kinsey Goman, for example, addresses this in her article, Busting 5 Body Language Myths (https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/). This perspective highlights a common misconception among opponents of online counselling. Let’s reconsider the 55/38/7 formula where 55% of communication is nonverbal, and 45% is verbal (tone, intonation, and words). The human face is highly expressive and can convey countless emotions without a word. Facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are largely universal across languages and cultures.
An attentive counsellor, therefore, can capture much of the nonverbal 55% by closely observing a client’s face. The only aspects not immediately visible are arms, hands, legs, and feet. While body language is important, it should not be absolutized as the most crucial element of communication in counselling, as people differ widely in their emotional expressiveness. Myers-Briggs’ sixteen personality types suggest that the risk of misinterpreting body language can exceed the risk of misinterpreting words, particularly when the person is not well known. As the counselling relationship deepens, the likelihood of misinterpretation decreases.
In today’s hyper-connected world, interpersonal communication is increasingly mediated by digital platforms. Much of this interaction is faceless and voiceless, but it offers remarkable convenience, being available 24 hours a day across virtually the entire globe. It also provides unprecedented opportunities for counsellors to connect with clients worldwide from the comfort of their consulting rooms. Platforms like WhatsApp, email, and other text-based media allow professionals to engage prospective clients, gather information, and evaluate whether a case falls within their expertise.
Text-based communication is growing due to these advantages, as well as the speed and paperless record-keeping it offers. These benefits extend to interpersonal relationships, although record-keeping has historically caused challenges – particularly when private information, such as extramarital affairs, has come to light. However, in troubled relationships, records can help temper anger and encourage careful word choice, as senders know their messages are documented.
WhatsApp and email provide a fast and convenient means to maintain contact across distances and time zones. Yet, the absence of nonverbal cues increases the risk of misunderstandings. Emojis can help convey emotions such as sympathy, empathy, aggression, anger, and joy, but their interpretation is not universal.
A frequently overlooked advantage of faceless and voiceless communication is its controllability. In interpersonal and romantic relationships, it allows individuals to pause and consider their response, reducing impulsive reactions and enabling more thoughtful dialogue (Suler, 2004). Unlike synchronous communication – phone calls, WhatsApp calls, or video calls – emails and written messages provide time to process emotions before replying, which can be especially beneficial during conflicts. Conversely, the lack of immediate feedback in asynchronous communication can lead to delays, procrastination, or diminished emotional connection (Walther, 1996). Misread sarcasm, anger, or indifference can also trigger unnecessary conflict.
Frequent text-based communication can imply closeness but may lack emotional depth. Important conversations conducted via email or WhatsApp can feel impersonal, potentially weakening relational bonds over time. Delayed responses can also cause anxiety or overthinking (Walther, 1996). Nonetheless, most problems in interpersonal communication stem not from the medium itself, but from how people communicate, their listening skills, and their willingness to understand each other. Kevin D. Arnold highlights this in, The Antidote to Poisonous Communication: It’s Not Failing to Communicate. It’s Failing to Communicate Well (https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog).
Certain relationships or situations, however, are unsuitable for digital communication, particularly in large groups. Professor Tsedal Neeley of Harvard Business School cites journalist Gretchen McCullough’s attempt to host a virtual party, which failed to replicate the fluid, spontaneous interactions of in-person events (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-lost-gained-when-we-communicate-virtually).
Online counselling, however, works exceptionally well with one or two people. Small groups, such as families, can participate, provided each participant logs in from their own device.
In conclusion, this analysis demonstrates that online counselling and modern interpersonal communication should embrace, rather than reject, digital technology. Faceless and voiceless communication is a viable alternative, capable of bridging distance, building relationships, enhancing lives, and advancing communication to a new level.
